Blessings

When life is starring you in the eyes, you can't help but look at the blessings in your life. Any hardship that I have encountered in my 32 yrs of life have always been overcome by the blessings that follow.

And we all have them. Sometimes its hard to see them when you feel like you can barely even breathe. But when I stop and take a deep breath, that's when I know no matter what, it will be OK.

I have always considered my children a blessing. Even at my worst mothering moment, I am reminded that these children that are pushing every button in my body are my miracles.  I was not supposed to be able to have kids. Doctors told me I would never be able to get pregnant and if by some small chance I did, I would never be able to carry a child. It would be my life or the child's but not both. So when I became pregnant with Cameron, shock pretty much took over. But when the shock wore off, the joy of this miracle took over. A very hard pregnancy and 18 hospital visits, brought us Cameron Hope Dowd. He may have been tiny but he was strong and stubborn just like his mom. We were young but we were determined. I remember telling Ryan "that if I ever want to do this again, tell me no". But of course you forget all of that when you see your baby and know it was all worth it. And of course you want a million more.

Hailey Mandela Dowd blessed our lives a few years later.

And when I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I am unable to have more children, I remember that I am blessed with these 2 amazing children . Who could ask for more.

As far as husbands go, Ryan is more then a blessing. Words can't really explain it. I wont get all mushy and lovey but my husband gives me more strength then I know what to do with sometimes. He came into my life not knowing what he was getting himself into. He was home from college for the summer and wanted to make some money waiting tables and kiss as many blonds as he could. Well he didn't make to much money and he only kissed one blond but I think it was worth it in the end. We ride this roller coaster together. The ups and the downs. I can not imagine what its always like in his shoes but I thank him for continuing to wear them.

I recently read this book(probably not the best time to read this particular one) about a husbands journey through his wife's Breast Cancer.His wife did not survive but this book gave me insight to what it is like for your other half. I would rather be on this side than that one. It was an amazing story of love and strength.

Family is something you learn that you can't live without. As a teenager, I didn't always see the importance of family. But as I get older and have a family of my own, I realize that I am very blessed with an amazing family. And when you get married, you double that family and have double the blessings.
My mother is someone who gave up her entire life for me. It took me a very long time to understand that but now that I do, I try to be that kind of mom to my kids. She was there for me each and every step and continues to be there when I need her. I try and protect her from the worry and fear. I feel like I have given her enough worries for one lifetime. But I do always know that she will always be there to hold my hand, whether I want her to or not, And for that I am forever blessed. I have no idea how I could ever tell or show her how much that means to me.

I find great strength in my family. And they always seem to reach out at just the right time. Whether it be a letter,email or a phone call to just let me know they are thinking and praying for me, it gives me great strength and most of all a smile on my face.

Now I have no idea where I would be without my friends. To me, Friends are just an extended part of my family. They are there when you think you don't need them. I am not one to ask for help much, but they know when I need it without asking. I wear my heart on my sleeve so if something is bothering me, you know it. I can be me. Happy or sad.. Pissed or excited... What you see is what you get. It is exhausting to have to pretend to be something you aren't. For that I am grateful. I can just come as I am..

When I look and see the all these amazing blessings, its hard to remember anything bad. They are my distractions from the unknown.

To all my blessings, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Today I find strength in all of you and know that whatever tomorrow brings, you will get me through it!!