Balance!!

Life is a Balancing act!! You have to balance everything on your plate. Sometimes on thing gets more of your attention then others but you still have to balance it all.

I feel like I am learning this the hard way.

I guess we all try to balance everything in our lives. We want to be there for everything and want to be able to do it all. At least I know I do. I like to to do it all. I like to be able to do it all.
When Hailey was in the hospital this last week, I found myself unable to leave. I wanted to be able to be there for everything that she needed. I rushed every time I had to even go to the bathroom. I found myself not eating and trying to find the energy to be able to do it all.  At the same time I was still attempting to be a mom to Cameron. I will say I did that very poorly but I tried in every way to have him know that I was still there and if he needed anything I would make sure he had. I was blessed to be able to have a ton of help but I am not good at asking for help. I like to do it all and I am finding that I can't.

Now that we are home and Hailey is in need of around the clock care, I am finding it hard to balance it all. I a trying to be the best mom I can to her because I know she is struggling. I am trying to let Cameron know that even though his sister needs a lot of care right now that I am still there for him. I am trying to show my husband that I love him and still have energy for him. I am trying to make sure that I don't lose myself along the way. I am trying to still keep up on the house and must find a way to be able to still do all my running and still be here. I am trying to still be a friend to everyone that is blessing us. I want to have something for everyone. But its only Saturday, not even a week in and I am finding myself empty and I am trying to find a way to balance it all.

I know everyday will get better, at least I tell myself that, but right now it feels like a lifetime. Now i do know it could be worse. Believe me I know that because I thought it for days but I guess I never realized it would be this hard. I feel like I have worked very hard at trying to balance our lives and that is getting shaken up here a bit.

Can't I just take the pain away from Hailey and carry it all? If life we only that easy!!!

I feel blessed that my daughter is home. My son will be turning 13 tomorrow. My husband is here. We are surrounded by people that love us.

 I know we are not alone. I just don't want to feel like I am .....