Life is a Balancing act!! You have to balance everything on your plate. Sometimes on thing gets more of your attention then others but you still have to balance it all.
I feel like I am learning this the hard way.
I guess we all try to balance everything in our lives. We want to be there for everything and want to be able to do it all. At least I know I do. I like to to do it all. I like to be able to do it all.
When Hailey was in the hospital this last week, I found myself unable to leave. I wanted to be able to be there for everything that she needed. I rushed every time I had to even go to the bathroom. I found myself not eating and trying to find the energy to be able to do it all. At the same time I was still attempting to be a mom to Cameron. I will say I did that very poorly but I tried in every way to have him know that I was still there and if he needed anything I would make sure he had. I was blessed to be able to have a ton of help but I am not good at asking for help. I like to do it all and I am finding that I can't.
Now that we are home and Hailey is in need of around the clock care, I am finding it hard to balance it all. I a trying to be the best mom I can to her because I know she is struggling. I am trying to let Cameron know that even though his sister needs a lot of care right now that I am still there for him. I am trying to show my husband that I love him and still have energy for him. I am trying to make sure that I don't lose myself along the way. I am trying to still keep up on the house and must find a way to be able to still do all my running and still be here. I am trying to still be a friend to everyone that is blessing us. I want to have something for everyone. But its only Saturday, not even a week in and I am finding myself empty and I am trying to find a way to balance it all.
I know everyday will get better, at least I tell myself that, but right now it feels like a lifetime. Now i do know it could be worse. Believe me I know that because I thought it for days but I guess I never realized it would be this hard. I feel like I have worked very hard at trying to balance our lives and that is getting shaken up here a bit.
Can't I just take the pain away from Hailey and carry it all? If life we only that easy!!!
I feel blessed that my daughter is home. My son will be turning 13 tomorrow. My husband is here. We are surrounded by people that love us.
I know we are not alone. I just don't want to feel like I am .....
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Broken Leg
I have never broken a bone in my body but on Sunday I would have given anything in the world to have a broken leg if it meant that Hailey would not..
Hailey broke her Femur on Sunday. If you didn't know the Femur is the strongest bone in the body. It is a bone that is very hard to break. But my little Hailey managed to break that bone right down the middle. She is all of 57 pounds and just the tiny est thing but her strength and bravery is stronger then any broken leg.
It was Dowd Beach day. We created our own little oasis in the backyard. The kids were jumping on the trampoline and Ryan and I were sitting in our lounge chairs. One minute we were all smiling and the next minute the screaming couldn't stop. Hailey was jumping and must have landed on her leg wrong because the screaming was like something out of a horror movie. We managed to get her into a lounge chair and transported her to the ER like that. Every bump was more and more painful. We did not think she broke it. Maybe pulled a muscle or tore something but we did not expect what we saw and hour later.
The ER tried there best to get her comfortable but there is nothing one can give for fear. Her fear. Our fear. You watch and you just want to take it away. You want to take the pain, the fear , everything away and just go back to how it was an hour earlier.
Within a few hours we were being told she would need a cast and possible surgery. Your heart just breaks and you try and think how in the hell am I going to prepare my 8yr old for surgery. I know how I feel before surgery so I can only imagine what was going through her head.
We get admitted into the hospital and we are told surgery will be in the morning. The nurses are keeping her as comfortable as they can with drugs and trying everything to get her to sleep. Ryan and I are in recliner chairs watching over her and holding her hand as much as we can.
I will admit that I do not recommend googling "broken Femur" at midnight when your daughter is going in for surgery the next day. But I of course could not help it and wanted every ounce of information I could get. I should not have done that... That's all I will say about that =)
We anxiously are awaiting when she will go into surgery. She can not have anything to eat or drink. So after awhile she is starting to get thirsty and hungry. Add that on top of pain from her leg and you have one very unhappy little girl.
The surgeon ends up not coming in til after noon and tells us she will go at 2. Well 2 quickly passes and so does 3 and 4. Finally at 5 she is taken down for surgery. Now I never imagined my child being wheeled down to surgery before. She is scared and I am trying to comfort her but I am so terrified myself that I am not sure how much I helped her. But I hold it together for as long as I can. We only get to go so far. She is begging for me to be in the operating room but there is nothing I can do. I felt helpless and so out of control. The nurses were amazing and they wheeled her off as we were ushered in the opposite direction. We finally get to the waiting area and this mama just lost it. Every emotion caught up with me and the tears could not be stopped. I was terrified. What if something goes wrong? What if there is more damage then they think? What if she doesn't make it? Its a broken leg but of course every TV show I have ever watched was being played in my head and my mind was thinking that people die from broken legs all the time.
3 hour surgery!!! That's right... 3 hours of complete HELL!!! A few nurses came out during the surgery to let me know that things were going good which helped give me a few seconds of not being scared to death. I don't ever want to be on this side ever again. I mean I would like to not be on either side but this side is so much worse. I finally really know what my family has gone through with me.
The doc finally comes out and she is ok. They put a metal plate in her with 8 screws. She is not even big enough to have 8 screws. Where did they put them? Surgery went good and the recovery starts.
I can not get to her soon enough.. We are able to be in recovery with her and I have never been so happy to see her before. She looks pale but she is breathing and crying and that is music to my ears.
She just wants something to drink but they have to take it slow so she doesn't get sick. She does not want to wait but finally drifts back to sleep. She is transported back to her room and she begins to wake up.
She has two Popsicles and a cake pop because that is what she was promised and she did not forget. For a second Hailey is back. It might be drugged Hailey but she is there.
First night is anything but fun but we get through and the hard part begins.
To watch your child struggle and not be able to do anything is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like a horrible mother who can do nothing right . But I am also a proud mother. Hailey is truly the most amazing child. Her strength and bravery is something that words can not explain. She is determined.. She is very stubborn.. She is sweet... She is strong...
My goal now is to keep the dark cloud away from her head now. She is such a happy little girl so to see her down like this is very sad.
But she will recover and it will be hard but its already Friday so we have made it almost 5 days....
Hailey broke her Femur on Sunday. If you didn't know the Femur is the strongest bone in the body. It is a bone that is very hard to break. But my little Hailey managed to break that bone right down the middle. She is all of 57 pounds and just the tiny est thing but her strength and bravery is stronger then any broken leg.
It was Dowd Beach day. We created our own little oasis in the backyard. The kids were jumping on the trampoline and Ryan and I were sitting in our lounge chairs. One minute we were all smiling and the next minute the screaming couldn't stop. Hailey was jumping and must have landed on her leg wrong because the screaming was like something out of a horror movie. We managed to get her into a lounge chair and transported her to the ER like that. Every bump was more and more painful. We did not think she broke it. Maybe pulled a muscle or tore something but we did not expect what we saw and hour later.
The ER tried there best to get her comfortable but there is nothing one can give for fear. Her fear. Our fear. You watch and you just want to take it away. You want to take the pain, the fear , everything away and just go back to how it was an hour earlier.
Within a few hours we were being told she would need a cast and possible surgery. Your heart just breaks and you try and think how in the hell am I going to prepare my 8yr old for surgery. I know how I feel before surgery so I can only imagine what was going through her head.
We get admitted into the hospital and we are told surgery will be in the morning. The nurses are keeping her as comfortable as they can with drugs and trying everything to get her to sleep. Ryan and I are in recliner chairs watching over her and holding her hand as much as we can.
I will admit that I do not recommend googling "broken Femur" at midnight when your daughter is going in for surgery the next day. But I of course could not help it and wanted every ounce of information I could get. I should not have done that... That's all I will say about that =)
We anxiously are awaiting when she will go into surgery. She can not have anything to eat or drink. So after awhile she is starting to get thirsty and hungry. Add that on top of pain from her leg and you have one very unhappy little girl.
The surgeon ends up not coming in til after noon and tells us she will go at 2. Well 2 quickly passes and so does 3 and 4. Finally at 5 she is taken down for surgery. Now I never imagined my child being wheeled down to surgery before. She is scared and I am trying to comfort her but I am so terrified myself that I am not sure how much I helped her. But I hold it together for as long as I can. We only get to go so far. She is begging for me to be in the operating room but there is nothing I can do. I felt helpless and so out of control. The nurses were amazing and they wheeled her off as we were ushered in the opposite direction. We finally get to the waiting area and this mama just lost it. Every emotion caught up with me and the tears could not be stopped. I was terrified. What if something goes wrong? What if there is more damage then they think? What if she doesn't make it? Its a broken leg but of course every TV show I have ever watched was being played in my head and my mind was thinking that people die from broken legs all the time.
3 hour surgery!!! That's right... 3 hours of complete HELL!!! A few nurses came out during the surgery to let me know that things were going good which helped give me a few seconds of not being scared to death. I don't ever want to be on this side ever again. I mean I would like to not be on either side but this side is so much worse. I finally really know what my family has gone through with me.
The doc finally comes out and she is ok. They put a metal plate in her with 8 screws. She is not even big enough to have 8 screws. Where did they put them? Surgery went good and the recovery starts.
I can not get to her soon enough.. We are able to be in recovery with her and I have never been so happy to see her before. She looks pale but she is breathing and crying and that is music to my ears.
She just wants something to drink but they have to take it slow so she doesn't get sick. She does not want to wait but finally drifts back to sleep. She is transported back to her room and she begins to wake up.
She has two Popsicles and a cake pop because that is what she was promised and she did not forget. For a second Hailey is back. It might be drugged Hailey but she is there.
First night is anything but fun but we get through and the hard part begins.
To watch your child struggle and not be able to do anything is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like a horrible mother who can do nothing right . But I am also a proud mother. Hailey is truly the most amazing child. Her strength and bravery is something that words can not explain. She is determined.. She is very stubborn.. She is sweet... She is strong...
My goal now is to keep the dark cloud away from her head now. She is such a happy little girl so to see her down like this is very sad.
But she will recover and it will be hard but its already Friday so we have made it almost 5 days....
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
For better, for worse, in sickness and in health.....
I asked Ryan last night if he regretted being married to me because I am such a mess. His response was " when I said for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, I meant it ". Sweet I know. He said he knew what he was getting himself into...
Ryan and I have been married for 11 yrs now. We got married very young. I was 21 and he was 23. When I got pregnant with Cameron(our miracle oops), many people in our family wanted us to get married. If your having a baby, you should get married. Right? Wrong!! Ryan and I did not want to get married just because we were having a baby together. We wanted to get married because we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We loved each other very much and had been through Cancer together already but we still wanted to know for sure before we got married.
So on July 1st 2000, the anniversary of our first date, Ryan proposed to me and I of course said yes. My grandmothers words were "its about time". But we knew we were doing it for us and not just because we had a child together.
On May26th, 2001 Ryan and I became husband and wife surrounded by our almost 2 year son and 200 of our family and friends. A day that I of course had been waiting for my entire life.
Marriage is anything but easy. I don't think I went into thinking it was going to be easy but I know I didn't go into knowing that it would be as hard as it is. Its all completely worth it and I would marry Ryan over and over again, but its a lot of work.
We were young, so obviously we have grown and matured together. I will say that I do think the longer we are married the easier it is. Maybe its because we have been married over a decade and that we sometimes don't even need to talk in order to know what the other is thinking. We know each other inside and out. But I also think I learn more and more about Ryan the longer we are together. I think the love grows deeper and stronger every year even though I don't think you could love someone more.
And are marriage has been anything but easy. We had 2 kids young. We got married while Ryan was in Law School. We lived with Ryan's family for 5 years. I was on bed rest for both pregnancies. Ryan went to Africa while I was pregnant with Cameron. I got Cancer again and again. Ryan turned down a big law firm job to be executive director of a homeless shelter. We bought our first house. We lost a child. We bought our second house. My mom moved in. Grandmas pasted away. Money was tight. Time together was scarce. ... And so on...
But each one of those things have made us a better couple. A stronger couple. I look at him and I still get butterflies in my stomach. I know he is my best friend and that I can just be me. The good and the bad. The pretty and the ugly.
I always tell him when we are fighting that he should be worried when I stop complaining that he is never home. If I don't want him here, that's scary to me. Because I want him here always.
When my head hurts, I want him to hold my hand.
When my insides are being torn out of me, I want to see him first when i wake up.
When my heart is breaking, he is my only comfort.
I realize that he probably didn't realize that it would be like this. But I don't know if we would be the couple we are without all of the shit!!
I hope he will always looks at me as beautiful even without all my body parts.
I want to be the 90 yr old couple walking on the beach together, holding each others hands and being more in love then ever before.
I know it will be work and I know it will be tiring but I fight each and every day because I want to grow old with him.
Ryan and I have been married for 11 yrs now. We got married very young. I was 21 and he was 23. When I got pregnant with Cameron(our miracle oops), many people in our family wanted us to get married. If your having a baby, you should get married. Right? Wrong!! Ryan and I did not want to get married just because we were having a baby together. We wanted to get married because we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We loved each other very much and had been through Cancer together already but we still wanted to know for sure before we got married.
So on July 1st 2000, the anniversary of our first date, Ryan proposed to me and I of course said yes. My grandmothers words were "its about time". But we knew we were doing it for us and not just because we had a child together.
On May26th, 2001 Ryan and I became husband and wife surrounded by our almost 2 year son and 200 of our family and friends. A day that I of course had been waiting for my entire life.
Marriage is anything but easy. I don't think I went into thinking it was going to be easy but I know I didn't go into knowing that it would be as hard as it is. Its all completely worth it and I would marry Ryan over and over again, but its a lot of work.
We were young, so obviously we have grown and matured together. I will say that I do think the longer we are married the easier it is. Maybe its because we have been married over a decade and that we sometimes don't even need to talk in order to know what the other is thinking. We know each other inside and out. But I also think I learn more and more about Ryan the longer we are together. I think the love grows deeper and stronger every year even though I don't think you could love someone more.
And are marriage has been anything but easy. We had 2 kids young. We got married while Ryan was in Law School. We lived with Ryan's family for 5 years. I was on bed rest for both pregnancies. Ryan went to Africa while I was pregnant with Cameron. I got Cancer again and again. Ryan turned down a big law firm job to be executive director of a homeless shelter. We bought our first house. We lost a child. We bought our second house. My mom moved in. Grandmas pasted away. Money was tight. Time together was scarce. ... And so on...
But each one of those things have made us a better couple. A stronger couple. I look at him and I still get butterflies in my stomach. I know he is my best friend and that I can just be me. The good and the bad. The pretty and the ugly.
I always tell him when we are fighting that he should be worried when I stop complaining that he is never home. If I don't want him here, that's scary to me. Because I want him here always.
When my head hurts, I want him to hold my hand.
When my insides are being torn out of me, I want to see him first when i wake up.
When my heart is breaking, he is my only comfort.
I realize that he probably didn't realize that it would be like this. But I don't know if we would be the couple we are without all of the shit!!
I hope he will always looks at me as beautiful even without all my body parts.
I want to be the 90 yr old couple walking on the beach together, holding each others hands and being more in love then ever before.
I know it will be work and I know it will be tiring but I fight each and every day because I want to grow old with him.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Not the head too!!!
I never really knew what a migraine was until this last fall.
One day I woke up with my head feeling like it would explode. Light hurting my eyes like never before. One eye not even able to open. Feeling more nauseous then when I was pregnant. No headache could ever feel like this. At first you really do feel like something is seriously wrong.
I take drugs to get through the pain and when the drugs are not working I go into urgent care and get a shot of even more pain medicine. Eventually the migraine starts to go away and I am just in a stoned state of mind. Which is not always a bad thing =)
After a few months of getting migraines pretty consistently , I see a neurologist. Of course the neurologist runs test to see if everything is ok in my brain. An MRI of the brain.. Not a fun test ..
If you have never had an MRI of the brain it is not something I would recommend. I have been through many, many, many test and scans in my lifetime and didn't think this would be a big deal. But I was wrong. I would not say I am claustrophobic but this sure makes you. They have me lay down on a table and give me ear plugs because the test is very loud. You would think that this is not the best test for someone suffering from migraines. But I am just the patient..
So I lay down with my ear plugs and they strap me into a football helmet like thing and make me lie very still. The very nice nurse gives me a ball to squeeze if I need anything during the test. I of course think that I wont be needing that but I will hang on to it if it will make her feel better. They then push a button and into the tunnel I go. Now having my head in this contraption and not being able to move makes me a little uneasy. I take a deep breath and just try and take it one minute at a time. After the buzzing starts and the test is underway I think that this is not to bad. After about 10 minutes I am done and begin to panic. I squeeze my ball and the nurse comes right in and pulls me out. I feel like a little kid freaking out and wants to just be done. I explain how very sorry I am and the nurse is just so nice that it does make me feel better. I feel like I have failed. And I feel like a chicken shit to say the least. I get talked off my ledge and back in I go.. This time I last a good 20 mins before they have to pull me out again. I wish i could tell them that I squeezed it on accident but I can't. The baby in me is back and at this point I just want to be held. The nurse explains that its almost over and that they will inject me with some stuff and then it should be done. So back in I go and I finish the test. I feel like such a little baby as I leave and hope that I never have to see them again.
I think that this test is going to be useless and that I have just tortured myself for no reason.
But of course they find something in my brain but it is of course not the cause of my migraines.
Migraines are still a mystery. My mom gets them but hers circle around her menstrual cycle. Since I don't have a uterus or my ovaries, that can't be the cause of mine.
I get put on medication and feel stoned for months. I finally have enough of that and get off all my meds and feel like a new person. No more migraines for a good two months. Maybe it was God giving me a break from the migraines because I would have to deal with all the other shit that was coming my way again.
So the migraines are back again and my plate seems to be overflowing. I have had more scans because now my pituitary gland seems to have decided to cause me problems too..The hits just keep on coming.
My body has been cut in more places then I would like. Now my brain wants to have issues too. I have a cyst in the back of my brain that is being watched because it is in a place of the brain that no neurosurgeon likes to go. But I guess my body wouldn't do anything easy. I don't ever seem to take the nice paved road but instead take the gravel road with bumps and potholes..
But I guess that makes me stronger right?? At least I try and tell myself that. But its hard when the migraines hit me and make me unable to function in anyway.
My kids even know when i have one because it is all to common in this house. The blinds shut. Moms head in a pillow . Mom not able to do anything at all. To me all that is worse then the actually pain of the migraine. I hate to have my children see me like that. I can hide a lot of what goes on with me from my kids and even most people but when i can't its very hard for me. I am the strong one. I am supposed to be the one doing it all.
Its a struggle everyday for me to try and let myself off the hook. Off the hook for the cards that have been dealt to me.
But someday I will look back at this time and hopefully see what made me such a strong person. Right????
One day I woke up with my head feeling like it would explode. Light hurting my eyes like never before. One eye not even able to open. Feeling more nauseous then when I was pregnant. No headache could ever feel like this. At first you really do feel like something is seriously wrong.
I take drugs to get through the pain and when the drugs are not working I go into urgent care and get a shot of even more pain medicine. Eventually the migraine starts to go away and I am just in a stoned state of mind. Which is not always a bad thing =)
After a few months of getting migraines pretty consistently , I see a neurologist. Of course the neurologist runs test to see if everything is ok in my brain. An MRI of the brain.. Not a fun test ..
If you have never had an MRI of the brain it is not something I would recommend. I have been through many, many, many test and scans in my lifetime and didn't think this would be a big deal. But I was wrong. I would not say I am claustrophobic but this sure makes you. They have me lay down on a table and give me ear plugs because the test is very loud. You would think that this is not the best test for someone suffering from migraines. But I am just the patient..
So I lay down with my ear plugs and they strap me into a football helmet like thing and make me lie very still. The very nice nurse gives me a ball to squeeze if I need anything during the test. I of course think that I wont be needing that but I will hang on to it if it will make her feel better. They then push a button and into the tunnel I go. Now having my head in this contraption and not being able to move makes me a little uneasy. I take a deep breath and just try and take it one minute at a time. After the buzzing starts and the test is underway I think that this is not to bad. After about 10 minutes I am done and begin to panic. I squeeze my ball and the nurse comes right in and pulls me out. I feel like a little kid freaking out and wants to just be done. I explain how very sorry I am and the nurse is just so nice that it does make me feel better. I feel like I have failed. And I feel like a chicken shit to say the least. I get talked off my ledge and back in I go.. This time I last a good 20 mins before they have to pull me out again. I wish i could tell them that I squeezed it on accident but I can't. The baby in me is back and at this point I just want to be held. The nurse explains that its almost over and that they will inject me with some stuff and then it should be done. So back in I go and I finish the test. I feel like such a little baby as I leave and hope that I never have to see them again.
I think that this test is going to be useless and that I have just tortured myself for no reason.
But of course they find something in my brain but it is of course not the cause of my migraines.
Migraines are still a mystery. My mom gets them but hers circle around her menstrual cycle. Since I don't have a uterus or my ovaries, that can't be the cause of mine.
I get put on medication and feel stoned for months. I finally have enough of that and get off all my meds and feel like a new person. No more migraines for a good two months. Maybe it was God giving me a break from the migraines because I would have to deal with all the other shit that was coming my way again.
So the migraines are back again and my plate seems to be overflowing. I have had more scans because now my pituitary gland seems to have decided to cause me problems too..The hits just keep on coming.
My body has been cut in more places then I would like. Now my brain wants to have issues too. I have a cyst in the back of my brain that is being watched because it is in a place of the brain that no neurosurgeon likes to go. But I guess my body wouldn't do anything easy. I don't ever seem to take the nice paved road but instead take the gravel road with bumps and potholes..
But I guess that makes me stronger right?? At least I try and tell myself that. But its hard when the migraines hit me and make me unable to function in anyway.
My kids even know when i have one because it is all to common in this house. The blinds shut. Moms head in a pillow . Mom not able to do anything at all. To me all that is worse then the actually pain of the migraine. I hate to have my children see me like that. I can hide a lot of what goes on with me from my kids and even most people but when i can't its very hard for me. I am the strong one. I am supposed to be the one doing it all.
Its a struggle everyday for me to try and let myself off the hook. Off the hook for the cards that have been dealt to me.
But someday I will look back at this time and hopefully see what made me such a strong person. Right????
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Road Trip
I have not been very good with keeping up with this blog but I am hoping that I can get back into the swing of this because I have found it very therapeutic!!
Its been a busy month and summer is in full swing. And you really can't have summer without a road trip. And you can't make it an easy road trip either. You must go for the 20 hour road trip. =)
We were supposed to go to Colorado for the week but since all the areas that we were planning on going are on fire, we decided to head to Florida instead. I mean the 15 hours in the car would not have been long enough so we decided to go for the 20 instead!!
Now I personally love road trips. I like the entire idea of a road trip. The Starbucks coffee with your bag of snacks. The music playing. The kids watching movies and eating little snacks. Ryan likes the books on tape with his mountain dew. Sounds so blissful and fun when you think about it in your head.
Anytime we have driven to Florida, we like to do the overnight driving. Ryan loads up on caffenine and we all try and sleep the best we can until Ryan can't take it anymore and then I take over. Sleeping in a car is not the most comfortable thing in the world but I know I couldn't do the driving overnight part. And the kids just pass out and don't care where they are sleeping.
So we get on the road.......
Ryan and I are both a little nervous because neither one of us have been feeling great lately. Ryan has been dealing with some dizziness spells and I have been dealing with well anything you can think of is what it feels like =)
But we are off anyway... I start off driving so Ryan and nap a litl bit before it gets to late for me to drive. Cameron is plugged in in the back and Hailey has her car bag out and ready to play. I picked her up some of those travel activities because she loves that stuff.She can't even wait five min and she is ready to start car bingo and the license plate game. I loved the license plate game as a kid and I found myself turning into a kid again and looking for all the states. I even noticed that even when she was done I would keep calling out ones that I saw. I love that feeling of just being a kid for a little bit.
A few hours later and 200 miles, Ryan takes over and we try and get comfy for the night. He starts to worry about his dizziness and I am thinking how can I drive more without killing myself as well as everyone else in the car. But it ends up being great and Ryan gets in the groove. I sleep as much as I can.. I am the worlds worst sleeper already so you can imagine how well I sleep in a car.,. But we are making good time and whats important is that the kids slept through the night and that makes the trip so much more tolerable. Rather than hearing "are we there yet" five hundred times. But don't worry, once they sun is up we get to start hearing it.
Nothing is worse then that last stretch... You start counting down every mile. You try and go just a little bit over the speed limit to just try and get there a little bit faster. Ok well I will be honest, I have a little bit of a heavy foot. Hailey always likes it when I drive because she knows we will get there just a little bit faster then if daddy drives=).. But I would say I am a safe driver, I like to think...
We should arrive by lunch time.. At this point it feels like we have been in the car for days. We smell. We are crabby. We are stiff from being in the car. We are hungry but are tired of the car snacks now and the roadside food. Someone is thirsty. I have to pee. Where are we going to eat lunch. One kid likes this place and the other wants something else. We are already getting asked if we can go to the pool when we get there. I mean the kidss have had a full nights sleep so they are ready to go. I just want out of this freaking car!!!
We arrive by lunch time and everyone is still in one piece. We unpack the car, eat our lunch and off we go to the pool. Vacation has offically started. As we walk down to the pool, Hailey is smiling and laughing. Cameron is blowing up the intertube. Ryan is carrying the pool. I stop and my eyes start to water a bit. This is what I always wanted when I thought about having a family. This vacation has made me really see how much I truly enjoy and love my family. I want to see smiles all the time. I want to be smiling as well. I want to remember this time as a family. Ryan throwing the kids in the pool. Building sand castles on the beach. Getting a great tan. Me even getting in the pool even though I hate the water but I can't resist not only because its hot but because I want to be in there with the kids. I want this trip to hopefully be a trip that we will forever remember...
If you are on vacation or having vacation at home, treasure the time you have with your family. Take a deep breathe and enjoy them!! It will be worth it....
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