" I am a living statistic
that shows that money
raised for breast cancer
research does something.
If it was not for the
different medications and
studies out there,
I might not be here
today to tell me story. "
I walked and finished my 9th Susan G Komen 3-day, 60 mile walk last week and it was a weekend filled with laughter, tears, blisters, and memories to last a lifetime. Preparing for the walk never gets easier if you ask me. No matter how many times you have done it in the past, the idea of walking 60 miles in 3 days is never easy to prepare for. Now it doesn't help that my body was not allowing me to really train for this walk but I am not sure even if my body was up for it, if I would have really trained anyways. I don't think there is really any full way to prepare yourself to walk that far in 3 days. Especially if you add some nice rain to the mix too!
Coming into this 9th walk was a little different then years past. I came into this walk knowing(thinking) that this would be my last walk. And anyone who knows me knows what a huge part of my life is dedicated to this walk. What this walk means to me. What this walk has given me and most of all what this walk has helped me heal from. So going into this walk knowing it would be my last was emotional to say the least.
Nothing gets your emotions going better then opening ceremonies. A time when we all come together and realize that we are all here for the very same reason. That we all have a part in this. That we have all been affected by cancer. That we have all given all we can to be here together. It's a time to celebrate those who have beaten cancer. A time to hold the hands of those fighting it. And a time to remember and honor those we have lost. You are surrounded by people just like you who have walked many walks before and then you are also surrounded by people who are out there for the very first time which gives me such great joy and comfort because I know it's ok to let. They will carry on this walk for me.
So off we went walking... Just a small 20 mile walk to get us warmed up for what day 2 had in store for us. RAIN! And we all know how I feel about rain. We got lucky with day 1 that no really rain came our way so it's only logical that day 2 would be filled with rain and a nice breeze to go along with it. Now I would like to tell you that we smile through the rain and we make the best out of it but that would be a big fat lie! We bitch, we cry and we bust ass to get to the end. I always love seeing all the pictures of people walking and smiling and wonder if they are posing or if they really are just that happy in the rain. Now don't get me wrong, we really do laugh along the way and we know that the rain we are walking in is nothing compared to cancer but it still sucks! I always like to tell people that they are allowed to bitch about the small things. Not everything has to be as big as cancer(and I believe I can say that because cancer and I are pretty damn close). We all have something and at mile 10 on day 2, we had rain!
The 3rd day is always the hardest. Not only have you already walked over 40 miles(and that is enough if you ask me) but you know that this walk is coming to an end. And as much as your body hurts and your blisters are popping, you feel a sadness in your heart that is hard to put into words.
But But But...... We had sunshine so that always helps.
This walk came into my life at a time that I needed it most but didn't really even know it. When I walked my very first walk while undergoing treatment, I did not realize the healing that my body and soul would get from walking 60 miles. And now today I believe that I wouldn't be in the place I am at today without it.
This walk has allowed me to be myself (which is debatable if that's a good thing or a bad thing=)). But in all seriousness it has allowed me to be cancer girl without feeling like cancer girl. It has allowed me to share my story and give hope to those still fighting. It has given me the strength to never give up the fight, It has allowed me to meet some amazing people and build some amazing friendships. It brought Lori and Kim into my life and has built a friendship that I would be lost without. It has allowed me to be a role model for my kids. That no matter what, we will never give up. It has enabled me to raise thousands of dollars for research. Research that I would not be here without. It has allowed me look past the pain, look past the hurt, look past the fear and look towards the future with more hope then ever before.
So I end this journey with tears in my eyes but peace in my heart. I believe that it takes an extremely strong person to know when its time to let go. And even though I could push myself to continue this amazing walk, I know and feel that this is my time to end this chapter and move on to the next. This body isn't getting any younger but my fight is stronger then ever before,
I can not thank each and every one of you enough. Many of you have been with me since the very beginning and I could not have done this without you. Your love and support has gotten me through every mile. To my donors, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Not only have your donations allowed me to walk but they have helped with many breakthroughs in the fight against cancer. Thank you. To my friends who have been there every step of the way, thank you. It is impossible to put into words what your support and your love has done for me. I would never make it to the end without you. Thank you <3. To my amazing family who has traveled near and far to be apart of this journey with me, thank you. Your smiles, love, support, time, signs, letters, and cupcakes are greatly appreciated and I don't know how we would do it without you. Thank you!
So as I end this chapter and start a new one, please know I am stronger then ever before. I will continue to share my story and spread as much hope as I possibly can. This fight is far from over but I know that these last 8 years, 9 walks, 540 miles walked will continue to strengthen me every step of the way.
"Without the rain there would be no rainbows!"
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