Life has pretty much been on hold since Hailey broke her leg. Trying to make this as easy as we can for her! But eventually life catches up with you..
After 3 weeks of cancelling doctors appointments and a very nice lecture from my doctor about taking my own life serious, I went to the doctor Tuesday morning. I was supposed to go the week Hailey broke her leg but I of course cancelled that =)
As I was getting ready to go in the morning, I became nervous of how this appointment would go. Its been 3 weeks since I was supposed to be there. I was just getting Hailey up and around more. And I was thinking that as soon as Hailey is better I am going to be the one down.
So away I went with a nice Starbucks in my hand....
I had no idea how the next hour would change my life. At least the next few months.
I went into the room with a my pretend smile on my face as the nurse asked me the same hundred questions they always do. She tells me to get undressed from the waste up and I put the very ugly gown over me. Can't we come up with some fun gowns. At least pretty ones. I know when Hailey was in the hospital I thought the same thing. Someone must do something about this. Anyways!!!!
The doctor comes in and we do a little chit chat and away we go for the exam. We are discussing when we should schedule surgery and what it will entail. She says we should ultrasound the breast to see one more time what we are dealing with. Now the last time we did this the ultrasound found masses and polyps in my milk ducts. A not simple surgery to remove them was our plan. But as she started the ultrasound, there was nothing to be seen. We looked and looked , she pressed harder , we tried to find any little spec that would maybe be something we saw earlier. NOTHING!!! That's right not a damn thing in that boob except some dilated milk ducts. She even said that if I had all my parts that that just shows my boobs are ready to breast feed. But not uterus probably means no breast feeding. !!
We cried together as I kept asking when surgery would be then and she kept telling me there is no surgery. She hugged me and sent me on my way and said I will see you in 3 months just to make sure everything is still going good. So I bounced out of there with a real smile on my face and told everyone to have a great day!!
When something like this happens, it makes me realize that life is such a gift. And that maybe things do really happen for a reason. Did Hailey breaking her leg help me from not having to endure something I don't know if I could have handled. I would have had surgery this week but instead I had to push it off to take care of Hailey. I like to think that there was a reason for the broken leg. But I could be reaching.
Was it just a miracle. I think they happen but to me I don't know.
Was it prayers answered?? I would love to think that too.. My relationship with God is very complicated but I know I had many praying and feel in my heart that everyone had something to do with this amazing gift.
Does this mean I am completely out of the woods? of course not!! But its a start. Its been a very bumpy road but I feel like I see a light at the end of the tunnel now.
I feel like I have a reason to get back up and not get knocked down again!!!
Thank you for the prayers and support. I could not have done it without them!!
Here's to a GOOD DAY!!!
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