Love!

Love is defined as an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. But Love is so much more then that!

True Love came into my life almost 15yrs ago. Young and wild, what was supposed to be a summer fling turned into a lifetime of love. 

When Ryan and I met, he was home for the summer from college and planning on going to Africa at the end of the summer for a year.  Neither one of us could see what would come next but it forever changed our lives. 

If I really think about it, the beginning of our relationship should have been a sign to both us as to what our life together would bring. Almost like a movie where the boy stays back from Africa so that he can help the girl through Cancer. 

When I met Ryan, I was having a recurrence of Cancer and was not given good odds. The baseball size tumor was going to be very difficult to remove and chemo would be too hard on my body to handle. Given the choice, I chose surgery and hoped for the best. A few days before Ryan was scheduled to leave for Africa, he made the decision to stay back and be with me as I endured another battle with Cancer. Little did I know that this would pretty much be the story of our life together. Him holding my hand as one health crisis after another hit. But without him , I honestly do not believe I would be here. 

We conquered that battle with flying colors and were not expecting what would come next. A miracle surprise. Cameron.  I was not supposed to be able to have children at all so Cameron coming along is what the definition of miracle is. A pregnancy that would test my body in every way and that could potentially take my life, was just another test of what our relationship was about.  This little premature baby would test us beyond belief but we were up the test. 

We got married when Cameron was almost 2. There are still discussions in our house today as to why Cameron was at our wedding and Hailey was not! But we would not have done it any other way.

As with any marriage we had our rough times. Having a child so young made us have to grow up fast. We lived with Ryan's family for 5 years while Ryan finished college and went to Law School. We bought our first house together and of course had a second child. We have worked hard on our relationship and there is nothing that we have not gone through that has not made us stronger.

I do not know for sure if Ryan knew what he was signing up for. As I tell him many times "you knew I was broken when you married me" =).. He is a strong man. He is my strength . 

I can only imagine what he has gone through over the years. I think sometimes that its harder for the him then me. I know I would not want to be in his shoes. I am not sure how I would handle it if he were to ever get sick. It's something I hope to never have to know. 

We are a great team. We support each other in every way, even when we don't always agree with the choice. 

I am pretty much an open book. If I am sad, you know it! If I am in pain, you sure as hell know it! I have never had a hard time expressing my feelings. It's a little harder with Ryan as it probably is with men. I do my best to build him up the way he builds me up. There is no greater love I feel then when he is holding my hand.

As we have watched each other grow up and mature into what I think our amazing adults, I have watched him turn into an amazing man. A wonderful father, a loving husband and a man who will save this world one person at a time. He has made me believe in myself and made me believe that no matter what obstacle we face, we will survive.

Our love has been tested beyond belief. We have gone through hell together and always land into each others arms. 

I know the road ahead will test us more then it ever has before but I also know that we can do anything as long as we have each other!


Forever can never be long enough for meTo feel like I've had long enough with youForget the world now, we won't let them seeBut there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has liftedLove has surely shifted my way
Marry meToday and every dayMarry meIf I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you willSay you will
Together can never be close enough for meTo feel like I am close enough to youYou wear white and I'll wear out the words I love youAnd you're beautiful
Now that the wait is overAnd love and has finally showed her my way
Marry meToday and every dayMarry meIf I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you willSay you will
Promise me you'll always beHappy by my sideI promise to sing to youWhen all the music dies
And marry meToday and everydayMarry meIf I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you willSay you willMarry me


Read more: TRAIN - MARRY ME LYRICS