Being a Mom!

Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job there is!!

But before I say anything else, it is the most rewarding job there is too. There is nothing else I would rather be doing. No amount of money would take me away from being home with my kids.

Now I am  blessed in so many ways. I know to many mothers who struggle with not being able to stay home with here kids. I do not ever take that for granted. There might be days where I want to pull all my hair out and chug a bottle of wine, but at the end of the day I still always feel lucky that I am home.

I struggle many days with what I think being a good mom is. There are days I know I don't meet the good mom criteria that I have set in my head. There is only one of me and sometimes I need about 100 of me to really get it all done and really be there for each one of my kids. And still have enough left for when my husband walks in the door.

As my kids get older I feel like there are times they need me more then when they were babies. Then there are the times when I feel like they don't need me at all and I get sad because I feel like they are growing up too fast. It's  a juggling act. Having one teenager  who is turning into a young independent man and one 9 yr old who I still consider my baby girl is a hard to juggle. But of course loved the same.

I beat myself up a lot even being a stay at home mom that I don't give enough to my kids. I don't mean things or objects, I mean that I don't give them enough of myself because there is always something else going on at the same time. We always say in this house " there is never a dull moment"!

When the kids were babies I used to love when they would get sick because all they would want to do is cuddle with me all day on the couch and not leave my side. I never enjoyed the sickness part but the feeling of being needed was something that filled my heart.

Hailey just had surgery again on her leg again. This time around I am trying to look at all the good things that can come from this. The time I can have with her. The talks, the tears and even the laughs are things we will forever remember. I am trying to stretch myself as far as I can as a mom and still be there for Cameron at the same time. It's always harder when one child needs you more then the other. You don't want your other child to ever feel less important. I am trying to make sure he knows I am still here and that his needs are just as important.

As I juggle being a wife, selling our house, taking care of my health and trying to be a good mom all at the same time, I hope that at the end of the day I still take the time to reflect on how blessed and lucky I am!