" We walk because we must.
We are strong because the journey demands it.
Together in body and united in spirit,
we lay down our footsteps for this generation and the next.
This is our promise:
A WORLD WITHOUT BREAST CANER."
A few weeks ago I completed my 8th 3-day 60 mile walk in Philadelphia with my girls. A walk that is never easy to finish but this walk in particular was by far the hardest walk yet.
Several thoughts went through my head as I stood there on that cold and rainy Friday morning trying to prepare myself for the journey ahead.
- I am not as young as I was when I did my first walk at 28...
- My body has been through a lot in the last few years...
- The longest walk I did to prepare for this was 8 miles and that was over a month ago...
- I hate rain... And when I say hate, I mean HATE...
- This walk needed to relight the fight inside me... and that's a lot of pressure...
- And of course my biggest thought was will I be able to finish this walk... without killing
myself that is...
This walk is something I look forward to every year. It is a walk that is so near and dear to my heart that I don't know where I would be had I never done one. It is a walk that has healed me in ways that no drug could ever do. It is a walk that has brought out a strength in me I didn't know I had. It is a walk that has brought friendship into my life that I would be lost without. It is a walk that has allowed me to tell my story and give others hope. It is a walk that has given me the will to fight.
Its hard enough to start a 60 mile walk but to know that your first 22 miles are going to be in the rain and cold, makes it just a little bit harder. And not just a little sprinkle of rain, I mean a rain that seems to get heavier every mile you take. By the end of that day, we were drenched and cold and unsure if we would be able to do another day. Now for anyone who knows us 3 girls, it would take a whole hell of a lot to get us not to walk. So for us to all be looking at each other, questioning whether or not we could go back at there again tomorrow was scary when I look back at it. Obviously as the night went on and we warmed up and our bodies slowly started to heal from the day(with the help of a quick trip to the medic tent), we knew there was no way we wouldn't be walking the next day.
So we did just that. We started day 2 with a light sprinkle and a little bit of rain but no one was complaining because it was 100% better then the day before. We walked 23 miles on Saturday. 23 miles that felt like 100. My body began to ask " what in the hell are you doing?" As the miles got longer and the body started to hurt a little bit more, I questioned whether or not I would be able to finish this walk. Something I do not do often. I am as stubborn as they come and I know that not being able to finish would be very hard for me. Now I totally give credit to those that come out and walk and do what they can and maybe don't walk the entire 60 miles. But for me it is something that gives me strength and reminds me that cancer will not win this fight.
By day 3, you are mentally and physically exhausted. Which is hard because day 3 is the day that takes the most out of you. It's the last day. You have already walked 45 miles. Your body is all done. You are wrapping and taping all parts of your body just so you can get to that finish line, 16 miles away. The weather was at least a little nicer. Some wind that could blow you right off the sidewalk but all in all a pretty nice day. Obviously by day 3 we are walking just a tad bit slower but we are walking.
Day 3 is always a very emotional day for me. Now I know I am tired and my body has been pushed to it's limits, but it's more then that. It is a day I reflect on all the time. I honestly went into this walk not knowing what to expect. My body was not at it's strongest. I was infused with as many vitamins as the doctors would give me the week before to get my body through this walk. My emotions were all over the place. Having been told a few weeks before the walk that another round of treatment would be in my future is not something that ever gets any easier to hear. It kind of knocks the wind out of you and your will to fight fads. And that is very scary. So the walk could not have come at a better time.
Mile 59 is my favorite mile and the mile I hate the most. It's the mile that tells you that you are almost there. That you have conquered what you didn't know you could. It's the mile that seems to last forever, but the mile I don't want to end. It's our last mile walking together(until next year of course). It's the mile I am most thankful for my girls who have gotten me this far. There's no way I could have done it without them. It's the mile that tells us that this walk is coming to an end and we must say goodbye. It's the mile where I am filled with hope again and realize that my will to fight is stronger then ever. It's the mile that you can't believe is already here but your body is thankful it is. It's the mile that reminds you why you started this journey and why you will never give up.
As we cross the finish line, hand in hand, every ache seems to diminish(for a very temporary time of course). It's as if your body forgets that it has just walked 60 miles in 3 days. Maybe it's your body thanking you for being done. Maybe it's the sense of accomplishment you feel. Maybe it's the love of your family numbing the pain. Maybe it's the gratefulness you have for the 2 amazing girls that got you to the finish line. Maybe it's the hope that you feel again. Whatever it may be, finishing 60 miles heals you in a way that words can not truly explain.
So as I have been recovering these past 3 weeks, I am reminded that your muscles stop hurting. Your blisters go away and your toenails grow back. But most of all I am reminded that tho this fight may be far from over, I have the hope, the will and the strength to fight it and to win.
I thank each and everyone of you who has supported me through this journey. Without your love and support, none of this would be possible!
Mile 59 is my favorite mile and the mile I hate the most. It's the mile that tells you that you are almost there. That you have conquered what you didn't know you could. It's the mile that seems to last forever, but the mile I don't want to end. It's our last mile walking together(until next year of course). It's the mile I am most thankful for my girls who have gotten me this far. There's no way I could have done it without them. It's the mile that tells us that this walk is coming to an end and we must say goodbye. It's the mile where I am filled with hope again and realize that my will to fight is stronger then ever. It's the mile that you can't believe is already here but your body is thankful it is. It's the mile that reminds you why you started this journey and why you will never give up.
As we cross the finish line, hand in hand, every ache seems to diminish(for a very temporary time of course). It's as if your body forgets that it has just walked 60 miles in 3 days. Maybe it's your body thanking you for being done. Maybe it's the sense of accomplishment you feel. Maybe it's the love of your family numbing the pain. Maybe it's the gratefulness you have for the 2 amazing girls that got you to the finish line. Maybe it's the hope that you feel again. Whatever it may be, finishing 60 miles heals you in a way that words can not truly explain.
So as I have been recovering these past 3 weeks, I am reminded that your muscles stop hurting. Your blisters go away and your toenails grow back. But most of all I am reminded that tho this fight may be far from over, I have the hope, the will and the strength to fight it and to win.
I thank each and everyone of you who has supported me through this journey. Without your love and support, none of this would be possible!
Thank you to my amazing family! There's nothing we can't beat together! Love you!
